


Clench

by Arrowdite



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Ficlet, Friendship/Love, HAHAHA ENJOY THE ANGST, Hurt/Comfort, IF ONLY THEY KNEW THE POOR FOOLS, Love Confessions, One Shot, Rejection, Short, Short One Shot, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, i love suffering, love square
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 11:49:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5927290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arrowdite/pseuds/Arrowdite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chat Noir gets honest.  Ladybug responds in kind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clench

**Author's Note:**

> My first Miraculous Ladybug fic!
> 
> Inspired by the first drawing in this set by syrva on tumblr: http://syrva.tumblr.com/post/138523706192/lotsa-sketcheswips-from-the-stream-tonight
> 
> Also on my blog: http://korrawr.tumblr.com/post/138763574572/syrva-lotsa-sketcheswips-from-the-stream
> 
> Special thanks to the-champion-of-the-citadel on tumblr for being my beta!
> 
> Hope you like it!

“Pound it!” She held her fist out to him, a smile wide on her face, eyes sparkling with pride at their accomplishment. That smile of hers melted his insides every time, but tonight was different. 

Or maybe, tonight he was different. Maybe the slow build of patience and hope had become too great, and he was too in love to continue bearing it. Or maybe his eagerness to share more of himself with her had, in this moment, made him either bold or stupid enough to decide to do it. Usually, Ladybug plucked his unspoken words right from his tongue. Tonight, they sat poised and ready to spring, desperate to catch wind and find their way to her ears. If the rest of him happened to find its way to her too… Chat Noir smirked inwardly.

He resigned to something within himself. To that tingle of feeling in his chest which had grown into a tidal wave of longing and warmth. A riptide which dragged him by the heart whenever she was near. Her eyes shining bright and her attention solely on him like it was now, he lost himself in her. The glow which radiated off her skin to land like sunlight on his cheeks had come to give him purpose. She was his partner. His teammate. His friend? He wanted to think so. But like a child with a sweet tooth, he craved more than that. And feasting with his eyes could only sustain him for so long.

Rather than connecting his knuckles with hers, he offered his right palm, as if for a handshake. Ladybug paused, mask pinching in confusion. With a quick glance from his face to his outstretched hand and back again, she evaluated him. She dropped her hand into his. Her face read caution, curiosity, calculation in awaiting his response.

Always the thinker, he thought, bemused.

In a singular, quick movement, he pulled her in, his free hand catching the top of hers. Both hands held her there, his body absorbing the the subtle impact of her weight against him. Her fingers sandwiched between his, he prayed his thundering heartbeat wouldn’t give him away. His words felt like a storm waiting to happen. The air between them charged with the weight of his unspoken truth.

“Ladybug, I…” he trailed off, thoughts lost for a second in a memory or a dream he’d pushed into the corner of his mind. A dream the color of her eyes. He glanced away, suddenly doubtful, but that eagerness in his stomach returned to scream at him. Reeling him back to the present, it kicked him and reaffirmed his intentions. Chat met Ladybug’s gaze again, intense and gentle and sure. Regret would overwhelm him if he turned back now.

“I love you,” he said.

Ladybug took in a small gasp, so faint he almost didn’t hear it, as her eyes shot open wide and her lips parted. “Oh,” she said, her voice surprised and disappointed all at once. Her gaze lowered to the ground, and he realized with confusion that she was mourning his words. “Oh, Chat…” she whispered, sounding as if she had come across some sad dying animal on the ground. He caught his breath as realization dawned on him.

Eagerness morphed into a sickening chill and twisted his gut. His heart squeezed in his chest. Blood rushed to his cheeks and the insides of his ears, making his own thoughts hard to hear. “You knew,” he murmured out loud, cold and numb from shock. He hardly felt his mouth move, the words sticky in his throat.

“Chat, I…” Though calm, Ladybug’s eyes betrayed her as she scrambled for a plan, panicking. After a second’s hesitation, she shifted their hands so Chat’s were in hers now. She held them there, close to her, a mirror of his earlier motion. She took in a breath and there was strength in her voice, but she spoke with a profound compassion. A compassion he felt too raw to hear.

He fixated his gaze firmly on their joined hands, begging she might provide him some kind of hope to latch onto.

“I never doubted your affection for me was genuine,” she said softly, leaning in. “I suppose I just… hoped it wouldn’t come to change things between us.” Her eyes searched his face for a response, a connection, but he couldn’t meet her. He bit his lip in concentration, a broken attempt to maintain control of himself.

He thought back on all the times he’d kissed her hand or made some suave comment and how she’d always pushed him away. His heart sank. “Did I…” he began, praying his voice would hold strong, “did I do something wrong?”

“No,” she cooed, her voice gentle, comforting. She released his hands to cup both sides of his jaw and his heart stopped. She pulled his face in closer, caressing the skin of his cheeks slowly with her thumbs, willing him to look at her. Her breath warmed his neck and trembled his core. “You’ve never been anything but a good friend to me,” she said, emphasizing every word to make sure he heard.

The double meaning of that phrase was not lost on him. Chat’s mask twisted in pain as he felt himself torn two ways. His shoulders finally collapsed in something like defeat. He closed his eyes and his face nestled deeper into her hands, emotion welling behind his eyes. He felt her arms flex as they adjusted to support his weight.

Conflicting desires aside, she was still his safety net.

He racked his brain for words to say.

“I didn’t think we’d get to this point,” she went on, a silent sigh leaving her as her own shoulders dropped. “I guess I hoped the jokes were just your way of connecting. Or that you’d find someone who would chase you back and give you everything you deserve. I’m not that person. But I never want you to think I don’t treasure you.” She angled his face up enough for him to meet her gaze. Her big blue eyes searched his, silent in her plead for him to understand.

She did love him. But she never wanted this.

His gut wrenched in shame and regret and a million faceless feelings.

The glow on Ladybug’s face had dimmed in concern and caring and everything he knew he didn’t deserve. But the affection he saw in her gaze, perhaps, was the most poignant. His heart clenched. Chat Noir knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes, pushing the bone-deep pain away. He wrapped his fingers around his Lady’s hands. Gently, he lowered them, a serene sort of acceptance washing over his features. Ladybug’s focus on him was intent as he began to speak, worry creasing her brow.

“It’s alright, my Lady,” he said in a soft voice, a dull smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. Chat Noir was used to life behind a mask, and at this moment, if his Lady needed him to wear one, he would indulge her. “I never meant to ask of you more than you wanted to give.” He was so close to her, he could rest his forehead on hers if he were to lean forward. He would have kissed her then, too. In another life, maybe he could have.

“And I never meant to hurt you,” Ladybug said in kind. For a second, something flashed in her eyes, and there was nothing in the world but the two of them. She might have reached out to him. For a second, Chat thought she was about to. But then she seemed to grab hold of herself again. She released a conflicted sigh and extracted herself from his gentle hold. She was quiet as she wrapped her arms around herself, fidgety.

Her absence was cold and pointed. Chat Noir found himself immediately searching for her warmth again. He had to remember to stop himself from leaning forward as she stepped back. He choked on the idea of causing her more harm. He’d never forgive himself for allowing her to go on feeling this way because of him. And while he had hoped for more, he meant what he said. He had to remind himself of what was important. He had to ensure that Ladybug never receive less than she deserved, even if it meant his own heartbreak. He found in himself the resolve to cover up the hole in his heart and ignore his pain, for her sake, if nothing else.

The mask Chat Noir wore now was one of conviction.

“Oh, don’t feel guilty on my behalf, my Lady,” he said, the smirk returning in strength to him now. With casual air, he flicked his blonde locks, then planted his hand firmly on his hip. “This cat isn’t known to stay down for long.”

–

Ladybug paused, searching her partner’s face as she considered him. She could feel the shift, feel him pulling away. Though her heart ached to chase after him and make sure he was alright, her head informed her this was for the best. She told herself she could never love Chat in full so long as Adrien was in her life, and she believed it. Despite it all, she did love Chat, even enough to let him go. Even if that meant tolerating a wall between them. Even if that meant, for the first time since teaming up, leaving Chat Noir to face a fight alone.

They had become a team. They would always be a team. But in that moment, Ladybug felt part of what they had built shatter, and a bit of her heart along with it.


End file.
